As I sit across from her, I see her searching for the words that will effectively capture the situation she is sharing with me. It is important to her that I hear and understand her experience as she intends it to be heard. I witness her struggle as she revisits the moment she shared devastating news with a family about their child's new diagnosis.

As she processes her experience and the family's raw response to her words, I can see and hear how much she wants me to understand the significance of that moment. She is trying to find the words that will convey not only what happened, but what it felt like to be there.

I sit quietly, listening with all my senses, noticing the nuances of her body language, her breathing, and the changing pitch of her voice. I am aware of what is being said, but also what remains unspoken.

This matters to her, and I am fully present.

The importance of being heard

I remember the times when I, too, have sat with my professional supervisors and mentors, wanting them to understand the experience I was sharing. How important it was to me that they understood not only the situation itself, but the context, the emotions, and why I needed to talk it through.

Sharing and processing our experiences is important for our wellbeing. It allows us to make sense of situations that may have challenged us, unsettled us, or left us with more questions than answers.

Sometimes, it is about finding a way forward so we can continue to provide the care we do, lead the teams we lead, or navigate the complexities of our professional responsibilities. At other times, it is simply about having the space to untangle our thoughts, emotions and the ruminations that can occupy our minds long after an experience has passed.

There is something powerful about being truly heard, without interruption, judgement, or the expectation that someone needs to provide an answer.

Creating space to reflect

In my role as a professional supervisor, mentor and coach, whether sitting alongside a health professional or a business leader, I endeavour to create a space where people feel safe to reflect, debrief, process and explore their experiences.

The importance of this space cannot be underestimated.

Giving someone our undivided time and attention is becoming increasingly rare in the fast-paced society we live in. We are often so busy moving from one responsibility to the next that opportunities to pause, reflect and make sense of our experiences can easily be lost.

Yet, within professional supervision, mentoring or coaching, there is an opportunity to do just that.

It is a space where new understandings and meaning can emerge, where assumptions can be challenged, perspectives broadened, and where individuals can develop greater awareness, confidence and understanding of themselves and their mahi.

Sometimes, the most significant insights come not from being given advice, but from having the time and space to hear our own thoughts spoken aloud.

Making time for ourselves

Professional supervision, mentoring and coaching are still misunderstood, and their value is not always fully appreciated.

For many of us, prioritising an hour each month for our own professional and personal development can feel difficult. We tell ourselves we are too busy, that there are more pressing matters requiring our attention, or that we will make time when things settle down.

And often, we place ourselves at the bottom of the list.

I know this because I, too, have been guilty of putting other things before myself, with the familiar narrative that I was simply too busy to take the time.

Yet, when we continually place our own needs last, we risk overlooking the very things that help sustain us in the work we do.

Taking time to reflect is not an indulgence. It is an investment in our wellbeing, our professional practice, and our capacity to continue supporting and leading others.

The privilege of witnessing growth

Now, as I sit alongside others who have made the commitment to create this space for themselves, I see its value from a different perspective.

I witness moments when understanding begins to emerge, when someone sees a situation differently, or recognises strengths and capabilities they may not have previously acknowledged.

I see confidence grow, resilience strengthen, and individuals become more assured in their leadership, their decision-making and their mahi.

There is something deeply rewarding about witnessing another person's personal and professional growth, particularly when that growth emerges through their own reflections and discoveries.

While I always valued my own professional supervision, I now have a greater appreciation of what this time and space can offer.

I am reminded that we do not always need someone to provide the answers. Sometimes, what we need most is someone who will sit alongside us, listen with genuine curiosity, and allow us the space to find our own understanding.

And perhaps that is where the true value of listening lies.

It is a privilege to be trusted with another person's experiences, to hold that space with care, and to witness the learning and growth that can unfold.

Whāowhia te kete mātauranga

Fill the basket of knowledge – never stop learning and growing.